Dear Mr. Robert Malda:;)
This law firm is the intellectual property and litigation counsel to Apple Computers (NASDAQ: APPL). It has come to our attention that you are the registrant and primary owner/operator of http://slashdot.org, a renowned site for open source and free software fanatics. Your new web site graphics scheme at http://apple.slashdot.org is in violation of Apple's copyright of any and all things computer-related and translucent in appearance.
Please be advised that Apple Computer is the holder of "combined translucency and sex appeal" which the United States Patent and Trademark office has accepted for registration on the Principal Register. Since the late 1970s, my client has created beautiful engineering miracles of this aesthetic design. Apple Computer, courtesy of their marvelous, refined, and sexy produts, have an outward appearance that has become famous worldwide. Consumers looking for lime, flamingo, tangerine, and/or neon-colored computing devices have come to find my company's products, and only their products and parallel websites for advertising and selling said products.
You are hereby warned and notified to CEASE AND DESIST your use of attractive shiny graphics, which you continue to use in bad faith. If you do not immediately remove them, we will take all action necessary to protect our mark. Your failure to comply will result in my client's full and forceful prosecution of all of its rights, and you could incur liability for damages in excess of $11,371,137 and responsibility for our attorneys' fees.
The Law Firm of Geoffrey R. Morris,